Silence.

As we all know, silence is something we all need. Over doing it, will only makes other people thinks you are easy to step on, but not doing it makes people thinks you are annoying. I tried to be one of the silent type of person, and the result is painful. I can't even speak out my own thoughts of something, and people keeps on stepping on me, and makes me feel like a loser.

Even if i say something, people won't take it serious, and thinking i am one of the person who easily can be made fun of. I have had enough with that, i can't always say yes to everything. I can't have a weak personality forever. I can't let people underestimate my own ability, my own strength anymore. I can't let people to control me.

So i decided to change once i came here, at this university. I tried to be as cheerful as i can be. I tried to make friends with everyone, be friendly, be bold, not holding back my thoughts and say whatever i want to say. I just want to improve myself. Truth to be told, i am lonely. The minute i step my foot here, the loneliness were there. Sometimes i want to cry, i want to go home and quit everything. The thoughts of having no one here, sometimes it is too painful to bear. To overcome all of it, i just put a smile on my face and do anything to make me forget the loneliness. I talked and talked to strangers, i realize some of them thinks that i am annoying, some of them thinks that i am happy,cheerful and positive person, some of them thinks that i am someone who don't have any problems.

But the truth is, all of them are wrong. I am not an annoying person, or happy or whatever they think i am, i'm just a normal girl who put a fake smile on her face to hide her problems. A girl that is looking for a friend that she can rely on, that she can trust and share her happiness and sadness together.

I just, i missed my best friends. I miss how we got through any problems together and not even forget with each other. I don't leave people behind, and i know my friends won't leave me.

So again, i spend most of my time with myself. Because someone told me, it is better to be alone than to be with fake people. And yeah, whenever i feel lonely or depress with having no friends here, i will think back my friend's advice and i feel strong again.

Lastly, i guess being alone is not a bad thing at all. Well, sometimes.